


Of the Kindred Kind

by Thymelady



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: 3x11, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, UST, babysitting the undead, drugged by mistake, ichabbie - Freeform, it's still an ichabbie fic, medicines used a bit carelessly, missing scene from 3x11, my bestie wanted zombies a shovel and a drug addled Ichabod, or at least a lame attempt, reference to cut scene where crane cooks and sings o sole mio, romantic nonsense, silliness on a mission, so she challenged me and I accepted, someone take this keyboard away from me, the kindred couple get it on a lot better than ichabbie, they are a succulent family now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 12:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6079245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thymelady/pseuds/Thymelady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene by the end of 3x11 where Team Witnesses meet The Kindred and The Kindress one last time. A mission that is doomed to fail. A formation that is doomed to fall. A diversion that is doomed to be exposed. A game of chess where the stakes are too high. A story that is actually not intended to be serious in any way. Basically just an excuse for some Ichabbie fluff and to write my bestie a birthday present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of the Kindred Kind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shinysparks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysparks/gifts).



> This was a challenge from my best friend and fellow Ichabbie shipper. Happy birthday, Shiny!! <3 This is the deal: she has a tendency to foresee things when it comes to Sleepy Hollow. It is both creepy and amusing. She's also the expert on writing crack, and while I tried to make this fanfic amusing, I have nothing on her. 
> 
> Some serious notes: no way that Joe could play that glass organ. But I've decided to treat it like it's an organ grinder version of the instrument, for my own peace of mind. Lots of references to later episodes and the cut scene where Crane cooks and sings 'O Sole Mio'. (Look it up, it's just too lovely and pure crack.) Edit: the cooking scene might actually happen in 3x12. Ah, they joys of writing while the show is still on... 
> 
> Lots of Ichabbie flirting, but not really deviating from the show canon too much.

Abbie couldn’t really concentrate on the chess game and Crane was still preoccupied as well. Luckily, there was suddenly a loud banging on their front door, and both Jenny and Joe barged in.

“THE KINDRED AND HIS WIFE!! WE SAW THEM!” they shouted, nearly in unison.

“WHAT!” Crane shouted and flew up from his chair.

“Where!?” Abbie demanded and ran over to them.

“Outside of Mabie’s! My shift has just ended and Joe had come by to pick me up. We saw them in the woods – just by coincidence!”

“Are you _sure_?” Crane stressed.

“Absolutely!” Joe said. “If we hadn’t know what it – they – were, we’d probably… I dunno. But it was them. No doubt.”

Jenny nodded.

“Lieutenant…” Crane began and turned to Abbie.

“Now wait!” Abbie said and held up her hands to stop all the commotion. “Let’s stick to what we know. They are out there. What do they want?” she started to count the facts and questions on her fingers. “What can we do? What _should_ we do?”

They were all silent and looked at her intently. Crane spoke up.

“We raised them both, Lieutenant. We created… something we cannot handle. We still have a responsibility.”

Abbie nodded grimly.

“Original plan? Lure them back to the tunnels with that tune, if it still works? Imprison them in the Masonic cell until we… know how to handle things?”

Crane nodded back, equally serious.

“Woah, your parenting skills are just a tad too rough,” Jenny let slip, which earned her some rather surprised looks, even if Joe had a hard time fighting a smile.

“You know how rebellious teenagers can be,” he just had to say.

“Oh yeah – I know!” Jenny assured him.

“Yeah, OK – weapons?” Abbie cut in, calling them back to their task with short commands. “Both cars?”

“And no more silly jokes about The Kindred and The Kindress having the Lieutenant and me as parents!” Crane nearly bristled with finger in air. “If anyone, it was Benjamin Franklin himself who – ”

“Crane!” Abbie shot in before it turned into a rant.

“Ahem, yes. To battle we go!”

*

They met up at Mabie’s at the outskirts of town. Jenny and Joe had went straight away to try and find the undead couple again, while Abbie and Crane had hurried to the archives to get the glass harmonica, some more weapons and a shovel that Crane said might come in handy.

“This is the very shovel that we used to open the Kindred’s grave with,” he said. “Do you remember, Lieutenant? Galvanisation?”

“Of course,” Abbie nodded as she sped to get to Mabie’s.

“Since it was used then, and based on some notes in Franklin’s book, I think it might… come in handy.”

“Really?” Abbie said, her senses tingling. What was he hinting at?

“It might imbue some powers associated with the rites,” he said. “It could perhaps reverse something…”

“Might? Perhaps?”

“Hmm.”

“Or perhaps _increase_ something instead?”

“Quite.”

She looked at him with the look that he had learnt meant that she was ‘1000% done’, which of course was a silly exaggeration. Nevertheless, he fully understood the reference. She was also right; it might just turn everything more dangerous. He was pretty ‘done’, himself, at least quite close to the supposed 100%. He felt a splitting headache coming too, probably all the tension of the day. Probably the wine for dinner. Probably everything.

Then Abbie shrugged and beamed at him, and his insides turned hot.

“Yeah, what the hell. It’s always worth a shot!” she exclaimed.

He grinned back.

*

Soon, all four of them roamed the forest in formation, Abbie in the middle. The glass harmonica had been loaded with the right note paper and Joe slowly played it, walking behind them since he couldn’t use a weapon. Four people walking armed in a dark, misty forest while one of them played on an eerie instrument in order to lure an undead couple their way – just another night of their quiet lives in Sleepy Hollow.

“Should we have called Sophie and asked her to come along?” Jenny whispered to Abbie, barely audible over the music from the glass harmonica.

“Nah,” Abbie mumbled thoughtfully. “She got beaten up quite a bit today. And this isn’t strictly an FBI matter.”

Jenny nodded and looked satisfied. They walked on, only using a weak flashlight and the moonlight above them to see the small road leading deeper into the forest.

“Anything?” Abbie whispered to Crane at her right side.

“Nothing,” he mumbled back.

“Jenny?” Abbie whispered to her left.

“What?” her sister whispered back.

“Are you leading us on a wild goose chase?”

“No!” Jenny hissed.

Just then, they saw a clearing further ahead. What they saw was a repeat of the scenes earlier that night. By the river, in the moonlight, The Kindred and Kindress kissed. The music didn’t seem to bother them; if anything it added to the mood.

All four in Team Witnesses stopped and looked.

“Aww…” Jenny whispered.

“That’s really romantic,” Abbie mumbled, and Crane nodded sadly.

“You know, Crane and Abbie,” Joe whispered. “You really didn’t do that bad as parents, after all.”

Crane glared at him and Abbie just rolled her eyes. Crane rubbed his forehead. He was leaning on the shovel that he had carried along.

“You OK, Crane?” Abbie mumbled and took a step closer to him.

He looked at her and smiled, grateful for her care.

“Only a headache. Probably the damn glass harmonica. Like most of Franklin’s inventions, they are brilliant but bound to give you a headache.”

Abbie grinned, then frowned.

“You sure? You had the same look in the car.”

“What look, Lieutenant?”

“Oh, just… that look. And you rubbed your forehead.”

He just smiled at her, a bit tiredly.

“Enjoying the moonlight?” Jenny asked lightly, but Abbie recognised the tone.

“I don’t think Crane enjoys his headache, no,” Abbie said shortly.

“Headache, Icky?” Jenny smiled.

“Miss Jenny…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jenny interrupted. “You have something for that in your bag, Joe?”

“Sure! Brought the essentials, as always,” Joe replied. “But you’d better dig for it, Jenny, my hands are kinda full with this baby,” he joked and nodded down at the glass harmonica that he was still playing by slowly spinning a wheel. Jenny started rummaging through his backpack while he still played.

“Couldn’t Franklin have invented a magical mouth harmonica instead?” Abbie said sarcastically and looked up at Crane.

“Indeed, Lieutenant. The man was a genius, but his inventions have a way to plague us through the centuries. Not that I’m particularly fond of the harmonica either.”

“Not the right instrument for ‘O Sole Mio’, perhaps?” she smiled fondly. She hadn’t forgotten the sounds, scents and visions in the kitchen that had attacked her senses earlier that evening. It had made her grin like an idiot then, and it threatened to make her grin like an idiot now.

Crane smiled back at her, knowingly.

“I could have tried the flute again, but you know what my flute music does to you, Lieutenant.”

Abbie snorted.

“Please!”

“ _You_ please!” he flirted, just like earlier.

“Guys!” Jenny cut in again. “Here’s the Advil.”

Jenny handed it over with a water bottle. Crane took it and swallowed. Abbie was ever so grateful that they had Joe around now, in case of medical needs and she smiled to him, mouthing ‘thank you’ to both him and Jenny. Crane nodded, appreciating it as well.

They stood there, looking for a while at the undead couple that seemed to just stand by the riverside and enjoy the moonlight. The Kindred had his arm around The Kindress. He was so tall compared to her, it always made Abbie’s heart jump a little when she saw a cute couple with a height difference. In the midst of it, she had also noticed that they had put down their weapons, which she made the others aware of by gestures. They nodded, understanding. It was an advantage that they needed, but it hardly seemed fair.

“So… what do we do with the Kindred lovebirds?” Abbie finally asked the others, a sad tone in her voice. “Can we lure them from here all the way through the tunnels and into the Masonic cell, when they don’t even seems to notice us or the music?”

“Hopefully,” Crane said, “The music is calming enough. Also, I am certain that this shovel is a good shovel. A shovel to shovel between them and break apart their unfairly quick and fated romance! One shovel to divide them. One shovel to fight them! One shovel to… How goes that Tolkien verse again, Lieutenant??” His voice had grown louder as he spoke and he now held the shovel in the air, pointing it like a spear to the undead couple.

The others stared at him, gaping.

“Crane?” Abbie asked worriedly.

He turned his head to her, eyes big, round and shining. And quite, quite mad.

“Consider this, my resplendent Lieutenant: How can it be that these unlucky two only knew love and happiness when we raised them and introduced them? How can it be that while both you and I have walked through the valley of the shadows of death – and back again – that we are not so lucky? No; it is not to be borne!”

“Oh no – Crane!!” because Abbie suddenly realised what was going on.

“AAAATTAAAAACK!!” Crane yelled on the top of his lungs, and ran towards the Kindreds with his raised shovel.

“Fuck!” Abbie hissed, raised her gun and ran after. She heard Jenny and Joe coming after, Joe had quickly put down the cumbersome instrument and grabbed a gun as well, and Abbie heard their running feet behind her.

But Crane had a head start and obviously a lot of adrenaline in his system. Abbie saw the two undead turning and snarling at him. Then he swung the shovel wildly, and it hit The Kindred with a mighty ‘TWANG’. The Kindred made a whelping sound and The Kindress shrieked. Crane swung the shovel at her as well, and it seemed to subdue her. Both undead looked baffled. Or were they scared? Hard to tell with zombies, Abbie realised.

“SCOUNDREL!” Crane roared at The Kindred. “We never wanted to abandon you! And you changed sides! Why?! Why, you scurvy louse?! Do you think the Lieutenant and I raised you for this??”

The Kindred only made a bewildered sound.

Abbie had reached them and merely pointed her gun, ready to take action when Crane needed to be saved. Seconds after, Jenny and Joe were ready too. But at the moment, the working weapon was in the hands of her fellow Witness, who was ready to take on the undead while he was high as a kite.

“And YOU!” Crane screamed to the Kindress. “First thing you do when we raise you is to attack the Lieutenant! Why!? This is not how Benjamin Franklin intended you to behave! And who gave the two of you the right to be so happy immediately, just because you were intended to be together? THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!! I WILL NOT HAVE IT!!”

Crane roared, more to the sky and the moon than to The Kindreds, who by now regarded him in what had to be fear and even wonderment. Well, Crane’s behaviour was so outrageous that even stitched up undead were starting to have a range on expressions on their faces. But they were terrified of the shovel, and that was the saving grace in the whole situation. Crane noticed to.

“Aaaahhh, I was right Lieutenant!” he exclaimed triumphantly and lowered the shovel just a little to look at it. “Look! It has some powers that they recognise!”

Abbie took a tentative step forward.

“That is GREAT, Crane!” she said with an exaggerated cheerfulness. In truth, it was great. “Now, Crane – Crane? Hey, CRANE!”

Crane looked up from the shovel and beamed at her. He was now wobbling back and forth, eyes so glazed over that they nearly outshone the moon. Big grin plastered on his face – was that a bit of drool? Abbie motioned to Joe and he stepped over to Crane and gently took the shovel from him.

“Master Corbin!” Crane said happily. “How do you like my magic shovel?”

“It is a-ma-zing, Crane!” he said and took it. Then he took a swing at the Kindreds, who had started to advance a bit towards their group. The Kindreds immediately stopped and looked terrified.

“What’s wrong with him, Jenny?” Abbie growled at her sister, while her fellow Witness started to wave his arms around.

“Maaaaagic shooooovel…” he sang. “WoooooOOOOooo….”

“I… gave him something for the headache so he wouldn’t come to you with anymore whining.”

“He’s not whining! He had a headache!” Abbie snapped as her eyes followed Crane around. She was still in formation, in case the undead would try something. “You must have mixed up the Advil with something else!”

“Oh my God, Abbie! He’s always whining and ranting about stuff! I hoped to stop a little of it! I didn’t intend to make him even more batshit crazy!”

“Don’t say that! He’s not batshit crazy!”

“Seriously?? How can you stand his rants?”

“What rants?” Abbie said and looked at Jenny angrily. Joe seemed to have the Kindreds under control and Jenny kept her eyes on him.

“I – what do you mean ‘what rants’??”

“So he’s passionate and has a lot of opinions about a world he wasn’t born into! Where’s your compassion!?” Abbie quarrelled.

“Hey!” Jenny said and lifted up her hands in defence. “I’m not the one living with him. If you love it so much; good for you!”

“He’s my friend, why shouldn’t I like it when he talks??”

“Ohhh, my God!” Jenny said again and eyerolled. “He’s my friend too! But honestly – ”

Abbie just huffed and left The Kindreds to her sister and Joe. She needed to know how Crane was really doing, and she walked over to him determinedly.

“Leeeefffteeeenant! Look at me, Lieutenant! My arms are like windmills! Mills! MILLS! MIIIILLS!!”

“Mmm, yeah. That’s great.”

“I want my arms to be miiiiills. I want my head to be miiiiills. I want my whole body to be MIIIIILLS!!” he sang while swinging his arms around, and trying to dance. He fell over, of course, laughing.

Abbie had to laugh as well. Crane rolled over on his back and pointed at the moon.

“O LUNA MIAAAA!” he began to sing.

Shaking her head, Abbie sat down next to him. He was easier to look after while he was lying down in any case.

“Just so we’re clear: that moon is YOUR moon?”

“No!” he protested.

“No?”

“ _You_ are my moon, my resplendent Lieutenant. My sun and my moon. You are every piece on my chessboard. The only conquering queen.”

Damn. She should have seen this coming, shouldn’t she? She had tried to play their situation tactically, after all, but it was getting harder and harder. Less and less pieces to sacrifice. Time for a distraction.

“The shovel was a stroke of genius, Crane! Props to you!”

Crane chuckled.

“Franklin may have made the beasts, but we tame them! Fist bump?”

Crane laughed a bit more, then he spoke slowly with only a lightly slurred voice.

“First I pay you a compliment, then you pay me a compliment. I speak from my heart, you speak to my ego. Clever. My clever Lieutenant.”

Abbie was silent and grateful for the darkness around them. Looking over to the others, she saw Joe taking a swing with the shovel at The Kindred and The Kindress.

“As recondite as your Spiderwort… But I cannot let your soul wither away, Lieutenant…”

Abbie bent her knees close to her chest and embraced her legs. She hid her face in the slope between her knees, but she still heard him. It sounded like he almost rambled to the moon, since he was looking up at it and wouldn’t shut up.

“I will keep asking until you tell me what you go through, my resplendent Lieutenant. I am not going anywhere. Never again. You will have all the time you need. I have been remiss in the past, but I am always on your side. Do you trust me?”

It didn’t take her long to reply.

“If I trust anyone… then it’s you,” she said in a low but clear voice. “Only you.”

“Then truly, I cannot and will not ask for more,” he replied.

Did the drugs make him tell the truth or… No. She might mistrust drugs, but she knew his game. He didn’t play to conquer her. His game was to know her better, understand her better. For them to win, together. Always a team.

She got up on her feet and extended a hand to him.

“Do you think you can stand?” she asked.

“I do not wish to stand up, Lieutenant,” he chuckled.

“Hmm, come on,” she decided and grabbed his hand with her small one. She started to drag him up and pulled at his shoulder with her other hand. That big, slim beanpole of a man who always reacted to her touch. He stood up on wobbly legs and she put her arm around his waist, still holding his hand. He gladly slumped against her, arm around her shoulder.

“Now we look like The Kindred and The Kindress did before,” he mumbled into her hair. She had just thought the same thing.

“Even the same height difference,” slipped out of her, and she wanted to bite off her tongue.

He placed her hand on his heart and swayed a little.

“Now, it’s like we’re dancing in the modern way, Lieutenant,” he said. “Shall I sing again? We can sing together.”

“Crane…”

She tried to make a bit of space between them. This was making her weak in the knees and too many feelings welled up in her chest. She just wanted this too much. Her hand in his. Hugs.

“We can take up dancing when we have grown weary of chess,” he suggested. “I have been wanting to learn modern dance for a while…”

Jenny had taken over the shovel duty and Joe was coming their way with his backpack. He seemed to have a new medicine.

“Hi Joe,” Abbie said sheepishly.

“Hi there!” Joe said cheerfully. “That looks cosy. Must be the moonlight, yeah?”

“O luuuna miiiiaaa…” Crane began again.

“Now look what you did,” Abbie chided.

“No worries, got some drugs for that here,” Joe replied.

“No more drugs!” Crane protested and tried to hide behind Abbie.

“Aaww, buddy!” Joe tried, as if he was persuading a child. “Won’t you take this to clear your head? We need you! How else will we get The Kindreds into the cars and over to the Masonic cell?”

“NO MORE DRUGS!” Crane protested.

“Mmm, yeah. Too soon, perhaps?” Abbie said to Joe. “You’d better get back to Jenny, and I look after Crane.

“Sure,” Joe smirked. “You enjoy the moonlight while we look after your rebellious kids.”

This time, both Abbie and Crane laughed. It was just too absurd, after all.

Joe returned to Jenny’s side and put a supportive arm around her. Abbie was trying to steer Crane, who still tried to dance with her or just making up excuses to hold her.

Abbie noticed that The Kindred looked their way. He slowly bowed his head to them both. Then he took The Kindress' hand in the formal manner, like he had before, and they turned to walk back to the riverside. Joe and Jenny left them some space. The undead couple didn’t seem capable or interested in swimming in those clothes. The shovel subdued them. Things were under some sort of control, for the moment.

“The undead know,” Crane slurred. “Even they know. The demons know. The angels know. God knows.”

Abbie didn’t dare to ask. All was still.

That was the moment of the explosion. Loud, and a huge ball of dust that clouded the air. The Kindreds were gone.

*

For a moment, Abbie feared that she had lost her hearing. But as the dust settled, they all started talking at once.

“What?!”

“Where are they?”

How did that happen?!”

“Pandora? The Hidden One? Are they here??”

They all babbled in confusion for some minutes. The Kindreds were definitely gone, obliterated. Jenny and Joe investigated the riverside, but it yielded no results. The blow had been immediate and the magic had been strong.

Finally, the four of them stood there, staring out at the river and letting the sadness arrest them.

“Ah, love,” Crane slurred. “It just blows up and turns to smoke…”

Nope, Abbie decided. They would NOT reminisce about THAT tonight.

“Let’s go home to our succulent family instead,” she decided.

Crane grabbed the shovel and tried to ride it like a broom, 'like Harry Potter did'. He fell over several times, and started to run away with the shovel. They eventually got him into the car and Joe got him to take the other medicine, which brought him down from his high. He spent the ride home crying over the fate of The Kindreds. Abbie wasn't all convinced that it was a better option, but it got them home and he went to bed quietly after she hugged him and assured him that he'd done a great job.

"Man..." said Jenny, because she and Joe followed them in to see that everything was OK. "He tries so hard to take care of you, and you end up taking care of him."

"M-hm," Abbie agreed. "To be fair, he does a good job taking care of me too."

"Sure," Jenny said tartly.

"He does!" Abbie protested. "And taking care of him helps me a lot, you know!"

"Yeah, we know," Joe said. "Everyone knows."

"What?"

"The undead know. The demons, the angels, God..."

"Hey!" Abbie said and got embarrassed. "Go home and go to bed, both of you!"

"Told you, you'll make great parents someday," Joe insisted, as Abbie pushed them out of her and Ichabod's abode.

 

~fin~


End file.
